I fear I may have given you bluffing overload with my recent scenarios, so today we will keep it short and simple. And remember It's not what you can't see its what THEY think you can!
Not all bluffs are complicated and sometimes it's the simplest ones that are most effective. Some bluffs can literally mean the difference between life and death. I am not advocating the below for the faint hearted incidentally, the outcome may result in action being taken by social services and sight loss charities up and down the land.
Today we are going to talk about crossing roads. Please read carefully before you continue
Disclaimer: The information on this website is for general guidance ONLY and is aimed at bluffers and potential bluffers. The clever people behind this site take no responsibility for the outcome of its bluffs which regularly contain no proven logic or sense.
Scenario
It's a lovely sunny day. You are walking down Regents Street with a spring in your step, ducking and diving through the crowds, and happily blending in as a proper “Sightie”.
On the outside you appear just like everybody else, and thats how you like it. But you know the dark secret which lurks behind the facade, and its certainly not going to slip at the mere prospect of crossing a road.
You've been swept along by the crowd which gradually begins to slow. Eventually you find yourself at that big crossroads between Oxford Circus and Regents Street. There are lots of people in front, its sunny and you can’t really see the traffic lights.
People are crossing randomly and you desperately don’t want to get run over or ask somebody if its ok to cross. Follow the instructions below to ensure your dirty sight loss secret remains secret.
1. Have a quick nosey to see if there are any women with pushchairs, they are THE key to your bluff, they will only cross when the lights have changed and its safe to go. If you can stand directly behind them or to the side and when they start jiggling around with their pushchair you know its nearly your time.
2. If there are no mothers, old people are a good bet or people holding the hands of children.
3. Once you have found your target to fixate on just wait, take your cue as soon as they start moving, its all systems go, do not hang around, follow their every move, This should secure your successful crossing.
4. Result. You are now able to continue on your journey full of bluffing pride.
Please remember it's far more important to risk the prospect of getting injured by a car than to confirm with a member of the public that its ok to cross. Bluffers you know a broken pelvis is worth it if people think you will have the visual ability to drive a motability car home from the hospital afterwards.
Follow Kristina on Twitter and listen to her on The White Noise Show podcast
No comments:
Post a Comment